Car rides through the countryside

2009-11-03T23:33:00.001-08:00

you wait a lifetime to say words you need to say
in your self-righteous rage, you simmer
you prepare the verbal assault
anxious to release a souls worth of anguish and suffering
your heart has ached loudly, sometimes quietly
in the front of your mind and deep beneath the surface
you wait a lifetime it seems, to gain the closure you so desperately seek
then the moment comes
and your lips cannot form the words
your mouth refuses to move
you hold your tongue
because sometimes, silence truly is golden.
sometimes, what you have to say doesn't really matter as much as you thought it did
maybe it mattered before
but it doesn't matter now
the importance lies in your ability to be quiet
because in that silence you hear......
all the things you've waited so long to hear
the words you thought would never come
and it washes away all those sins
the anger and the hatred, the bitterness and resentment
had I not held my tongue, I may have missed it
and I'm so glad I didn't

our riches do not lie in the material objects we horde

the things we covet and chase

and worship like gods

our richness lies in our ability to love and be loved.
Love isn't something we give only if it is to be reciprocated.
Its a gift, not an obligation
Love is what fills that empty space inside that nothing else can
it makes us human
it sets us apart from all other forms of life
Love is where I find my wealth

Those 30 minutes of silence this morning
that long and quiet car ride
and the sound of a voice that was not my own...
it was humbling
and suddenly, nothing matters anymore
everything has changed
I do see things differently
I may still want, but now find no need
for all those silly worldly things
silence gains one perspective, does it not?

your sincere declaration of love, however faint
is all that it takes
from this day
to make this little girl happy

And we're off......

2009-10-26T01:43:00.000-07:00

So lately, I find that I have too much creative energy pent up inside and no outlet for it. Some days I want to paint or draw. Some days I want to tag or mod podge the world. But most of the time I just want to write (or type as the case may be) and express my thoughts/feelings. Not to anyone in particular either. I just want to get it all out so that I don't overload. My friend Elizabeth suggested that I start a blog. She mentioned that her own blog (please go to evbeff.blogspot.com) is a great outlet for her and I want to do everything she does (except crap my pants), so here I go.
Before I begin, I would like to post a disclaimer: Nothing you are about to read from here on down is going to make any sense. At all. Ever. Actually, I don't know if anyone will ever read this, but in case someone does, I am so so so so sorry. I am about to make some ridiculous statements, say offensive and inappropriate things, and post unorganized, incomplete thoughts that will likely leave you wondering about my mental stability. Let me go ahead and cut you off there by admitting that I am in no way mentally "right." I am a disaster and live a messy, messy life. However, I'm better that way and "disaster" is part of my charm. The end.
Now, what would I like to say.......

Things I learned today:
1) The backseat of my car is not just for making out and holding all of my trash. It's also a handy space to ice a cake in.
2) Tacoma may as well be another country. I can't find it on a map and all I really know about it is that nothing happens there and it's far, far away. Dear Tacoma, please send Kina back immediately.
3) You can learn to do just about anything on Youtube.
4) Cutting your own fringe is never a good idea and should be left to the professionals. I don't care what Allure magazine says.
5) This

is not a very appropriate way to wish someone a happy birthday. Thankfully she got the joke. I am seeeeew 7th grade.
6) Kettle chips dipped in cream cheese cake frosting is not as terrible as it sounds.

Things you don't know about me:
1) When I was 16, I worked at Baskin-Robbins and was quite the proficient little cake decorator.
2) I Google everything. I can't help it. It's a compulsion I can't fight or explain.
3) I can't watch movies without subtitles. If you go to the movies with me, know that the whole time we are sitting there, I am thinking, "I can't do this. Where are the subtitles? What's going on? What did he just say? I wouldn't be having such a difficult time understanding all this is there were damn subtitles on the screen."
4) I cannot make it through an entire movie without IMDB-ing it on my phone. This ties in nicely with #2 and 3. I need to know filming locations, trivia, complete cast list, etc.
5)When it comes to buying clothes, the uglier it is, the higher the probability of me wanting to buy said clothing.
6) You know that I'm OCD, but you truly have no idea how bad it is.
7) I am full of useless facts and trivia. If you are ever bored and want to know the mating habits of a ferret, call me.

This week, I "me gusta mucho":
1) The Vampire Diaries on the CW. It's so bad it's good.
2) Bring Me The Horizon-Suicide Season. Maybe my favourite album of 2009.
3)Decorating for halloween

Pero no me gusta:
1) Dressing up for halloween. I'm an adult and I'm also not an idiot.
2) IBS, ulcers, and whatever else is wrong with my stomach
3) being late for life. I am late everywhere. I will be late to my own funeral. Must work on this.....

The End.

Feminine.Terrible.Organized

Car rides through the countryside

And we're off......